Where the warrior roams

Hello sweethearts,

I think I missed a lot of posts, sorry about that. If there is something you think I need to know, let me know okay?

The reason I wasn't around much is because I have worked a lot these past weeks, and because I spend the remaining free time I had in the hospital.

As you might remember, I used to live with my dad and his girlfriend, untill things went completely wrong and I moved out. I did not have any contact with my dad since then, now almost two years ago. Too much happened, too much pain and sadness and harsh words. I also felt it was hís responsibility as a parent to contact me, but he didn't. Before I went on vacation I called him to meet up, and we agreed we would have a talk after the vacations were over.

Two weeks, on a wednesday, I got a call from my father's girlfriend. She said her son was in the hospital and if we would please come. We (my sister and me) did.
He had been in an accident with a bus. The driver hadn't seen him on his bike. When they brought him in, there was a five percent chance he would make it. His lungs,, liver, his kidneys, his stomach, his intestines.. one big mess. The first three days or so they did not even stitch him up, it was of no use. First his liver had to be fixed so he would not keep losing the blood they gave him. Around Sunday, things looked a little better. Last friday, they took him off dialysis and the heart monitor and yesterday, they took the tube out of his throat and today, he woke up.
Against all freaking odds he made it, and he is recovering in lightening speed. It amazes me how stubborn and strong a human being can be.

It is weird to see your dad after such a long time. But I still believe it was a good decision to go. At times like these, the past fights do not always matter that much anymore. We still need to work things out, but right now, my dad needs us to be there, to talk to him, to distract him a little, to look after him. Oddly enough, my mother does not seem to understand at all. But that's a whole different story if you're interested in more drama.

So.. I think I missed some birthdays and I am really sorry about that. I can't seem to find my birthday list, but if I remember it correct ginny_wade , autumn_witch78 and anorienparker had a birthday.
So to you, lovely ladies, a belated but no less meant happy birthday!

Alright, I caved. Five days of being really nauseous in the morning, today I took the train back home as soon as I arrived at my destination.
If I didn't know any better, I would start to freak out over these morning sicknesses.

Well, I might as wel do the last day of the meme, and then I am gonna curl up in bed with some good porn movies.
Better than Sex, Lady Chatterley's lover, The truth about demons.. As long as someone's shirtless.


Day one: a song. Let's see... Anouk - Three Days in a Row. She has such a powerful voice, I love it.

Day two: a picture. Another one from Eire.

Day three: a book/ebook/fanfic. Mm, difficult.
*A book: Chaim Potok - the Chosen. Still a favorite.
*A fanfic: The series Der Falke by Sileya and Arieltachna. One of the best character developments I have read in fanfiction.

Day four: a site. Definatively Quirkyalone. Because that describes who I am exactly.
"(...) We are the puzzle pieces who seldom fit with other puzzle pieces. Romantics, idealists, eccentrics, we inhabit singledom as our natural resting state. In a world where proms and marriage define the social order, we are, by force of our personalities and inner strength, rebels.

For the quirkyalone, there is no patience for dating just for the sake of not being alone. We want a miracle. Out of millions, we have to find the one who will understand.

(...)

By the same token, being alone is understood as a wellspring of feeling and experience. There is a bittersweet fondness for silence. All those nights alone—they bring insight. "

Let me just add: Amen.


Day five: a youtube clip

Because this makes me deliriously happy every time I watch it.

Dag six: a quote. I read it in a magazine not that long ago, and I think it is precisely what is wrong in my country these days. We worry about the craziest things, the big news this summer was that two so called celebrities had broken (had broke?) up. Everyone, literally everyone had something to about it, even the prime minister! My God. Go worry about human rights, or Afghanistan, or the crisis.

"Bevrijd ons van de verlammende overvloed aan nietszeggendheid.."
Deliver us from the paralizing abundance of banalities.

And, a happier one:
Don't dream it. Be it. (Curteosy of dr. Frank N. Furter)

Day seven: whatever tickles your fancy
Hmm, what tickles my fancy..










Weeell.. that certainly tickled something.

Day one: a song. Let's see... Anouk - Three Days in a Row. She has such a powerful voice, I love it.

Day two: a picture. Another one from Eire.

Day three: a book/ebook/fanfic. Mm, difficult.
*A book: Chaim Potok - the Chosen. Still a favorite.
*A fanfic: The series Der Falke by Sileya and Arieltachna. One of the best character developments I have read in fanfiction.

Day four: a site. Definatively Quirkyalone. Because that describes who I am exactly.
"(...) We are the puzzle pieces who seldom fit with other puzzle pieces. Romantics, idealists, eccentrics, we inhabit singledom as our natural resting state. In a world where proms and marriage define the social order, we are, by force of our personalities and inner strength, rebels.

For the quirkyalone, there is no patience for dating just for the sake of not being alone. We want a miracle. Out of millions, we have to find the one who will understand.

(...)

By the same token, being alone is understood as a wellspring of feeling and experience. There is a bittersweet fondness for silence. All those nights alone—they bring insight. "

Let me just add: Amen.


Day five: a youtube clip

Because this makes me deliriously happy every time I watch it.

Day six: a quote. I read it in a magazine not that long ago, and I think it is precisely what is wrong in my country these days. We worry about the craziest things, the big news this summer was that two so called celebrities had broken (had broke?) up. Everyone, literally everyone had something to about it, even the prime minister! My God. Go worry about human rights, or Afghanistan, or the crisis.

"Bevrijd ons van de verlammende overvloed aan nietszeggendheid.."
Deliver us from the paralizing abundance of banalities.

And, a happier one:
Don't dream it. Be it. (Curteosy of dr. Frank N. Furter)

Day seven: whatever tickles your fancy

Day one: a song. Let's see... Anouk - Three Days in a Row. She has such a powerful voice, I love it.

Day two: a picture. Another one from Eire.

Day three: a book/ebook/fanfic. Mm, difficult.
*A book: Chaim Potok - the Chosen. Still a favorite.
*A fanfic: The series Der Falke by Sileya and Arieltachna. One of the best character developments I have read in fanfiction.

Day four: a site. Definatively Quirkyalone. Because that describes who I am exactly.
( From the website )

Day five: a youtube clip

Because this makes me deliriously happy every time I watch it.






Day six: a quote
Day seven: whatever tickles your fancy

Day one: a song. Let's see... Anouk - Three Days in a Row. She has such a powerful voice, I love it.

Day two: a picture. Another one from Eire.

Day three: a book/ebook/fanfic. Mm, difficult.
                    *A book: Chaim Potok - the Chosen. Still a favorite.
                    *A fanfic: The series Der Falke by Sileya and Arieltachna. One of the best character developments I have read in fanfiction.

Day four: a site. Definatively Quirkyalone. Because that describes who I am exactly. From the website:
"(...) We are the puzzle pieces who seldom fit with other puzzle pieces. Romantics, idealists, eccentrics, we inhabit singledom as our natural resting state. In a world where proms and marriage define the social order, we are, by force of our personalities and inner strength, rebels.

For the quirkyalone, there is no patience for dating just for the sake of not being alone. We want a miracle. Out of millions, we have to find the one who will understand.

(...)

By the same token, being alone is understood as a wellspring of feeling and experience. There is a bittersweet fondness for silence. All those nights alone—they bring insight. "

Let me just add: Amen.

Day five: a youtube clip
Day six: a quote
Day seven: whatever tickles your fancy

Alrighty, getting a tad sad here.
All my friends are out of town. I can hear people walking by having fun and getting ready for a night in the city. And I am here, in my pj's, cat staring at me awkwardly. *takes a deep breath* Normally I am fine with being alone, I even have what I call my hermit periods where I go out even less than normal. But at times like this, when everybody else is out and away, I am worried this is not a good lifestyle.

I just reread my post about foreskin. Am still thinking about it. Am still thinking about guys in general, in fact. They are so confusing!
I was kinda seeing this guy, we have known each other for about three months, and all of the sudden he talked about moving in with me, and that he really wanted to have kids later in life. One day, he sent me this awful poem in a text message. He had made it himself, so I did not have the hart to tell him it was so awful I did not even want to read it again.
Every time he had a fight with his mom, he called me and asked, kind of jokingly, if he could move in with me. He joked, but I knew he meant it. So I ran. Maybe it was mean, but he freaked me out so badly. I don't want a guy messing up my life. I don't want someone that forces me to adapt, to change in any way.
Guys are so weird.

Still, I would love to be a guy for like, a day of a week. So that I could figure out what they want once and for al. But mostly, because I would have a penis. Wouldn't that be cool? An uncut penis, to be clear. *dreams* I would play with myself all day. And I would try to hook up with girls, and walk around naked, and dance around naked! I'd even try to stick it in warm apple pie, to see how that feels. Having a penis must be so much fun.

/most weird post ever.

Day one: a song. Let's see... Anouk - Three Days in a Row. She has such a powerful voice, I love it.

Day two: a picture. Another one from Eire.

Day three: a book/ebook/fanfic. Mm, difficult.
                    *A book: Chaim Potok - the Chosen. Still a favorite.
                    *A fanfic: The series Der Falke by Sileya and Arieltachna. One of the best character developments I have read in fanfiction.

Day four: a site
Day five: a youtube clip
Day six: a quote
Day seven: whatever tickles your fancy

Day one: a song. Let's see... Anouk - Three Days in a Row. She has such a powerful voice, I love it.

Day two: a picture. Another one from Eire:



Day three: a book/ebook/fanfic
Day four: a site
Day five: a youtube clip
Day six: a quote
Day seven: whatever tickles your fancy

Day one: a song. Let's see... Anouk - Three Days in a Row. She has such a powerful voice, I love it.

Day two: a picture
Day three: a book/ebook/fanfic
Day four: a site
Day five: a youtube clip
Day six: a quote
Day seven: whatever tickles your fancy

LJ stopped sending me birthday notifications. Sorry I am late.

Hello darlings,

No, I have not ditched you for Facebook, don't worry.. But I am still waiting for my internet connection. Last time I moved, it took them almost 6 weeks to fix it, and now I am waiting for about two weeks already. The frustrating thing is: I call them every two days to see how it is going, and every time someone assures me that within two days, I will have internet. Which then ofcourse I don't. So more calling, more waiting, more angry Anne.
I will comment on all your replies and entries once everything is up and running, right now I am off to my third Swedish lesson.

Hugs all around!

Hello darlings,

Right back from Ireland, it is time to move to a new, improved and - most importantly - permanent home. It is small, yes, but it is also very cute. So far we have painted everything, every wall, every door and door- and window frame, we have put the most gorgeous wall-paper on one of the bedroom walls and we have started putting down the floor. Once that is done, I could move in, so I was home all day today packing stuff and throwing things out. If anyone wants some candle holders, holler. Oh and finally, someone came in to fix my washing machine. He is Polish and he smells of asparagus, lets hope all will be well.

Onto Ireland, my precious Ireland, where the men are indeed lovely and redheaded, and where the skies were not rainy at al. That's right, NO rain. I brought my raincoat for nothing!
( Pics and talk )

Hello darlings,

I am thorougly clinging to the idea I only have to work ONE more day, and then it is vacation time! I don't want to be a sissy, but working six days a week, having to walk around for seven, eight or more hours a day is killing.

In other news, I am moving. My current home will be gone after september 22nd as the city council decided to take down the whole neighbourhood and build new houses in the hopes of reaching another kind of resident. So I accepted another house last week, which sounds much easier than it was.
I accepted the house and I had to fill in all the papers. When I brought them to the landlord and asked if I could start paying rent in september, he told me no. I tried to explain that, being a student, I do not just have 300 euros lying around somewhere to pay an extra rent on top of the one for my old home. He literally said: "I do not care, it is not my problem." Then, we tried to make an appointment for a, what is the English word, a pre-inspection? Where you go with the landlord to check out the house, make sure there are no problems with heat, electricity, water and they give you the key. He wanted to schedule it in my vacation, so I told him I would be away. Once again, "not his problem". I was a "foolish girl" for "planning a vacation during the time I would be moving". Like I knew up front I would have to move in the same time as I would have my vacation. Wow, what a jackass.
The sad thing is, me and darlingnoreen_mcalba  had made plans to meet up IRL in Germany. But now, thanks to a double rent, I don't think I can make it. There is just no money left for another (albeit short) holiday. I was even worried there would not be enough money for my first vacation, but Noreen and my parents have pushed me into going anyway *squishes them* One moment I am so excited about going to Ireland, the next moment so upset about probably not going to Germany. Sigh.

Okay, enough 'pitying the fool', let's talk V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N-! On Tuesday, I will be on my way to Eire, where the grass is green and the skies are rainy and the men are redheaded and freckled. What more can a girl want. I have set my eyes on my very own Sheamus O'Malley, and I will not leave untill I have found one! I will visit Dublin and the Wicklow Mountains and the beaches and the haunted houses and the pubs, and omigosh I will have so much fun! Now, I only need to make sure I will not get lost and then all will be fine. Does anyone has any mandatory go-sees for me?

Oh, and if any of you lovely ladies want a postcard, drop me a line, with your adress if I do not have it already. 

It is 10 pm and I am beat. Off to beat, and One More Day Of Work..

I am sorry you had to remind me of it..

Last night, my family and I arranged a surprise party for my little big brother. He graduated last week and has elisted in the army. He will join the Air Manoeuvre brigade, if that is the right English translation. If all goes as planned, he could be send to Afghanistan in about a year, when he is 18. If I think about it too much, I am certainly gonna freak out.

With all the fights I had with my sisters, I have never had a fight with my brother. He is the sweetest guy I know, and I am not just saying that because he is family :-). Even now, at age 17, when I visit my parents, he comes to sit with me and he cuddles me when he think no one is watching. He always said he wanted to join the army, but I thought that was what all young boys want, and that it would pass. But he decided to really go through with it. He has grown so much this past year, the orientation year for the land forces (what a weird translation, is that right?), both mentally and physically. My brother has a sixpack!

We were sneaking around all week, inviting all his friends, fixing the barbeque, asking the neighbours for extra chairs.. My mom even called the supermarket my brother works at, to ask if he could work so he would be away the afternoon. Last friday, my sister and I spent a whole day in the kitchen, making salades and snacks and garlic butter..
But it was well worth it when I saw my brother's face. And I've never heard something more cute that half-grown boys singing to my brother. 

The war in Agfhanistan is still heavily debated here. The newspapers have found evidence that even though the Tweede Kamer, the House of Representatives, was against 'our guys' going to Uruzgan, the Kabinet, the government which has the final saying (in short) said yes, and decided the Dutch army will stay there untill at least 2010. The decision-making process is still not made public, the Kabinet refuses to make it public, which results in criticism towards both the government and - that is what I thought strange - the army itself.
I can understand people are against the war in Afghanistan. Í am against the war in Afghanistan, because I am against war as a whole. But I am not against the army being there now. Criticising the government and the way the decisions were made: yes. Criticising the soldiers: no. These are guys risking their lives, doing their best to make Uruzgan a safer place. They do not need us here, comfortable, out of harms way, telling them they are wrong and they should leave. It hurts me extra because I know that in a year, it could be my little bro.

I still have faint hope he will come back from his decision and stay here, digging ditches and be safe, but I see the glint in his eyes every time he talks about the army. We won't be able to stop him. So I can only hope and pray he will be safe.

In the past few months I've notice a serious decline in fanfiction posted throughout the communities. Why is that? Are people tired of the LOTR slash? Has everybody moved on to SPN/Twilight/Star Trek? I've tried SPN, but it just isn't my thing. I don't know Twilight and I am not a true Trekkie, so no ST for me either. Maybe it is a natural process: a rise, a peak, and then a downfall when people move on. Don't get me wrong, I do not mind, but it is interesting.

I'm also thinking about this from my personal pov. I haven't written anything in a long time, aside from drabbles, and even though I have a few works in progress, I just cannot seem to push myself enough to continue with them. Now I have always been a little apprehensive about writing, because it makes me painfully aware of my - at times-  poor English, but then there was always something that stimulated me. Maybe it was knowing that people would read and perhaps comment. But now, with so many people moving on to different comms or even different websites, you can't even be sure there will be comments to your entry. And well, fanfic writers (writers in general) need lots and lots of comments, it makes them happy and it gives them the drive to go on. I tried to comment on each fic I read, because I know how much a nice comment can make your day.

When I started reading fanfiction, I liked everything. Every drabble, every R, G, PG, NC-17, you name it, I liked it. Nowadays it takes a lot to get me exited about a fic. Some writers get to me every time, but with other stories, it is just not enough reading porn. I need a story, a believable story, with good characters and insight and a plot. (This is another reason why I do not write so much anymore: I want to write by there standards but i don't know if I can, especially in English.)

I have noticed that there are a lot of non-slash/fanfic/hot men things I want to talk about, but I am unsure if I should. I'll try to explain: I started this journal from a specific point of view: I wanted to perve with others. I was so glad I was not the only one who wanted to read about two handsome men getting it on.. That is how I met most of you guys, and I am thankful for that. But what will you think if I all of the sudden started talking about completely different stuff? Are you even interested in it? I remember softbluebuddy  once got a comment from someone, who said she was disappointed she also wrote personal stuff and not just slash. I don't think any of you will say that, but still, I think about it.

I have been thinking a lot about my future, and how I am just not interested in dating again. I have views on politics, I am introduced to so many interesting ideas on university. Can I put that in my journal? And if i do, will that scare away the fanfic readers? And will new friends be scared off by the fact that I enjoy and write/have written fanfic? My point is: is it better to keep things apart? And on another note, is it even interesting? I've always thought it was funny people are so sure others want to read about what they have to say. They seem so confident people will listen to them.

A few weeks ago, autumn_witch78  sends me a dreamwidth invitation code. Maybe I could check that out, open a new journal there, a fresh start.

This entry has turned out to be longer than expected :-), and it is mostly random ideas that I put into words while writing. But they are certainly things I have thought about in the past few weeks. Maybe you can share your thoughts on some of what I've said? I am looking forward to reading it.

Hello dearies, how are you all doing?
Ugh, college is almost over, I have four exams next week and I have been studying the bible The Entire Day.
Time for happy things and yummy men..
( Pics! )

Now, I am off trying to read Isaiah.

*swooooons*
I am not a Trekkie, maybe even a bit anti-Trekkie, but I had to see it because of Karl. I just wasn't sure I'd like the movie in general.
But it was good! Really good. I had a really great time, even more so because sis and me were stuck between true Trekkie fans, who laughed every time there was reference to the old series. They even cheered when The Old Spock showed up. Sis and me would look at each other and giggle.

No seriously, the movie was exciting, stunningly beautiful and there was a real, obvious connection between all off the characters.
Karl was - but that was to be expected - wonderful. I just can't over how handsome he is (yes, I squealed and punched my sister when he came on, it was embarrasing) and how funny. The grumpy doc is very different from Eomer or Kirril for instance, it was nice seeing him in this kind of role.

One other guy sis and me really liked, was Chekov. Did I tell you I have an accent fetish? Chekov is Russian (but you probably knew/guessed that), and he has the cutest accent EVER. There is this scene in which he has to give a code to access something, and because of his accent the computer doesn't recognize the code. I wanted to wrap him up and take him home! *coughs* and I have a Chekov wallpaper now..



On the left! *pinches cheek*
The one in the middle with the blue shirt is still the most handsome though :-)

Have a sparkly day!

 

Tonight: Little sis + me = Star Trek!
To quote Austin Powers: YEAH BABY YEAH!